Arrggghhhh… so how do I get a computer, write the great American novel, or at least a sleazy bestseller, and secure my family’s future financially? Either God thought I was deserving or Satan tempted me or a local finance company was just desperate for suckers to screw with an astronomical interest rate, but a check showed up in my mailbox. It was a ‘loan check,’ just cash it and your loan is pre-approved. Easy monthly payments, say it again, EASY MONTHLY PAYMENTS. Kinda rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? I looked at the check for about five minutes, I swear I think I was licking my lips. Come to mama, baby. That weekend we went to Office Depot and came home with my first home computer. Spent two grand for that overpriced HP Pavilion, but it was BEAUTIFUL. I was sure I could type my ass off on it and couldn’t wait to get started. Of course…. I had to try out all the bells and whistles first. In retrospect, I should have skipped that part. I ended up having to format the hard drive. We staggered our FMLA time in case we had an unforeseen need, like difficulty finding day care or Amanda having special medical needs. Happily, everything was normal, and I had a week alone with my daughter. I see lots of her mother in her, but that could just be a romantic imagination on my part. Every new dad looks forward to the end of the sex weeks-I mean, six weeks that they tell you to wait before you have sex again. (I swear, that was a typo that I decided to leave in because it shows you where my head was at the time.) The night of the end of the six weeks, Sam told me she wasn’t ready yet. I should have picked up on the signs, but I was thinking with my dick instead of my heart. She still felt fat and unattractive. Sam leaves work and gets home before I do, so I took the opportunity to lay out the sexy negligée I’d bought for her on Valentine’s Day the year before. She put it on that night and gave me a hand job, but she still couldn’t bring herself to let me do anything for.
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